dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
