DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
