with your own penis?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
