you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
