I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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