C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
