physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need a beard to bite.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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