Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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