You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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