just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
