"it" just moved
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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