I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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