This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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