we're blogging at a bar
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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