Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
