dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
