were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
