I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
