i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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