Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
