i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize