he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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