A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
no. you can't hotbox the world.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
