his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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