You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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