It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
