saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
