she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
