Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
