...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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