I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize