ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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