What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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