Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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