I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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