let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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