I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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