And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize