I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
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Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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