theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Congratulations! We have a period
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