Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
