I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need a beard to bite.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
