Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
