i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can feel your judgement through the phone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
