This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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