i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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