quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
