my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
