if i died would you start the facebook group?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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