I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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