your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate your face
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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