Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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