when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We need to rekindle our bromance
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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