You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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