dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
