whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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