took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
