Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize