Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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